Monday, September 25, 2017

Tell em Why You Mad (II?)

I try my hardest to avoid blasting people or putting up my life problems on social media. Especially on Facebook. But: As you know (If you're here) writing is my therapy and I have to get shit out with written words. But rather than put it on FB I decided to bring it to my online journal. Because here no one can hear me scream!
This is what I was going to post:

I was going to take the high road and not speak on this subject. But I’ve grown extremely tired of being the “bigger man.” Every now and then I think you all need to be reminded of how fucking Savage I can be! 

So last night I had a reoccurring conversation with someone who I love dearly. 
This woman has never been a fan of the fact that I am a photographer and is constantly trying to break me down. I don’t know if her intention was to get me to quit, but we ALL know that’s not gonna happen. 

According to this woman “Most” of what I Shoot is sexy, half naked and naked women. I know it’s not the truth but if that’s what she feels, so be it. What made this conversation worst though was the fact that for maybe the 5th time she mentioned “Most of what you shoot is sexy, half naked women. And I’m not the only one who thinks so” THAT’S the part that pissed me off. Not only is she wrong, but she’s proving to me that she is so weak minded that she is allowing the people around her to influence her opinion of what I am doing. If you don’t already know, one of my biggest pet peeves and a major turn off is a person who cannot or does not think for themselves. If you are the type to allow those around you to influence your opinion of someone else (especially someone who those around you do not even know as well as you do) then let me tell you about yourself. First and foremost to said woman, (and I KNOW you’re reading this) if you cannot see the artistry in my vision for my Shoots that’s ok, the fact that you are blind to anything other than what you deem “proper” has nothing to do with me. If all you can see is the “half naked and naked women” in such a wide range of what I shoot, then it is obvious that you’re insecurities have gotten a tight hold of you. Of course she wouldn’t tell me who else “felt this way” but I truly don’t care. What I will say is: for as long as I’ve known this woman I’ve met almost every one of her friends and family. I’ve shook hands with you, broke bread with you, spent time with you, been an equal part of your family. I don’t know which of you has a problem with what I do, and not only does it not matter, but if it’s something that you can speak to the woman I’m speaking of behind my back, it should have been something you can say to my face. I’ve made myself VERY approachable. But apparently you’re all a bunch of fucking pussies and couldn’t be man or woman enough to express what you feel to me. And to you I also say, if you cannot see the artistry in what I do, fuck You and eat a whole bag of dicks! If you are reading this and feel it is aimed toward you, then it TOTALLY is! 100%! And I can’t tell you how much I hope you are offended. Maybe your taking offense will result in you contacting me directly. Also, if you can’t be man or woman enough to speak to me directly, I invite you to unfollow me if you feel what I’m doing is not to your liking. Hoe asses!! 

So I’ll leave you with this almost 2 minute video showcasing everything on my Business Instagram. Where I hope you will note that of the 254 posts only a small handful are of any woman “half naked or naked” and of those all not “most” are done in good taste, although I don’t believe that you have good taste or the ability to identify it when you see it. 
So here you are, I hope you enjoy, and if you don’t like this please remember to unfollow and choke on a bag of dicks!

^^Tell me where you spot the Naked ladies^^

Stay Up, and Stay Tuned!

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Words Matter & Support is Free

Remember John Singleton's movie 'Boyz N the Hood?' (if you didn't see it, it's on you I'm not breaking shit down for you) 
Remember one of the early scenes in the movie where Doughboy's mom is telling him "You ain't Shit, and you ain't never gone be shit" calling him a "Fat Fuck" and carrying on as if he wasn't even her child? 
 I often find myself wondering (when I watch that movie) how different DoughBoys life would have turned out had his mom just been a little more patient with him and nurtured him like she did his brother Ricky. Would he have taken on a "thug life?" Or would he have sharpened up and walked a straight line? 

Well this post is not a movie review but the movie is a great helping guideline for what I want to discuss. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about how important words are. Especially words from the people closest to us. Because, let's be honest, those are the words that matter the most. On the playground when dealing with bullies or kids that would tease us, we were taught to respond with "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Oh how wrong they were. Yeah, it's true, words will never hurt you.... Physically! But words can be a Mother Fucker! I defy any adult reading this to tell me they've never been hurt by what a loved one said to them. 

So I started thinking, it's very important that we are more patient with children. It's very important that we nurture them, encourage them and support their dreams. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that we need to carry on that same mindset (obviously not as sensitive) with adults. Words Do matter. 
Think about your life, tell me: Do you love your job? Let's say you don't; how hard is it for you to get up out of your bed each morning? You dread the idea of your alarm going off so early, you having to get dressed, commute to work, usually with strangers you can't stand to get to a job you don't like to work with people who annoy you. Am I right? 
How great would it be to have someone at your side telling you "Hey, it's just work, be positive, you'll be great, and you look amazing today." Sounds farfetched doesn't it? But is it really? Why does that have to be something out of the norm? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm the spokesman for: "life is not a fairytale, ain't nobody got time for all that shit, suck it up and get to it!" Not realizing that I've been callused because that's how it was for most of us growing up. 
Our parents may not have been as harsh as Doughboys mother, calling us names and putting us down, but how often where they more nurturing and encouraged us to reach for the sky passed a certain age? I'm willing to bet not many. 

The underlining reason for this post is: in thinking of all this I find myself thinking about myself and my dreams. I can't lie and say that I don't have support from certain people, I might even say many people. But as far as the people closest to me, I can count on one hand the ones who make me feel they believe in me. In fact my brother Rudy is probably the only one (as close as he is) that makes me feel like one day I'll make a career out of my passion.

I remember a time I'd asked my father for a few bucks because I was going to shoot a video for a friend of mine. In his typical fashion he lashed out at me and told me "I'm always hearing you talk about videos and photo shoots, but you never have money!" Implying that I'm wasting my time with a hobby. I'm sure he didn't mean it to be discouraging or mean, but those words hurt me. I also remember a time when someone asked my mom, an earshot away from me "Oh, he's a photographer?" To which my mom replied "Well, that's what he says!" Shit! 
My mom has always been my best friend so I got over that quick, however those words really hurt!! 

Now this post is not meant to express resentment for my parents, because I know them both very well and I know they only want the best for me, plus I don't resent them. And let's be honest anyone with foreign parents knows the deal. Nor is this post intended to make you feel bad for me, because trust me, I don't need your pity. But I am saying that to say as parents we need to be more nurturing. Not only when our children are babies, but throughout life. Again I'm not saying I need my back to be rubbed while you ask me "who's my baby" (Gross, get out of here) but just because we don't get star stickers next to our name charts anymore, doesn't mean that positive reinforcement isn't appreciated. 

We have to be careful of telling our loved ones "You ain't shit, and you never gone be shit!" Because even if you try to sugar coat it, those words do hurt. Think of how your words effect the ones you love. Think of how they choose to carry those words. Think of how long they will carry them. Also think about where your words are coming from. Are you taking your own frustrations out on others? 
It's true, I'm only responsible for what I say, not what you take from it, but how often does someone say something and you read deeper into it? Think about what you're saying and what's being taken. A simple "Ehh, whatever" (given the context of course) could be taken for "You're not good enough." 
As people we like to carry on with a facade of being strong, and for the most part, I know we are, however it doesn't mean that we can't use a little boost of confidence through words of encouragement. I mean, what could it hurt, right? Support is free! 

Stay Up and Stay Tuned 

Friday, April 21, 2017

(Whackness) Life Gets Hard...

...But I aint complaining!

What's the word!?
If you know me then you know my motto is: "Life is Good." And really there's no reason for me to believe any different at the moment. However, I probably wouldn't be writing any of this if everything was peachy, right?

So what's new? Well a lot! I have to update the blog dedicated to my daughter cause a lot has happened in that regard as well. As for me? Well my problems aren't the greatest, but they are mine and so they feel like they are lol.
For starters, March was a super duper whack month. I rather not go into detail as to why, but things changed a bit. And it seems that it's not so much the whackness that has affected me but more so the bounce back. My job title at work change a bit and it came with way better hours! I'm no longer working a 4pm-12am shift and having to wait 3-4 hours for parking when I get home. Rather, I'm working a 9-5 like everyone else, but all good things come with some bad. For the security of my job, I won't put things about people on the internet, just know that all co workers aren't workers! Lol.

There's also the fact that I lost my best friend. Not like they died, but apparent;y we can't be friends anymore. Again, don't want to go into details but.... Whackness!
And to top it all off, it seems like I'm well on my way to being the one thing I prayed the hardest not to become, a weekend dad! Seems like my daughter will soon be a resident of Pennsylvania. A state that I am sure is God's punishment to the United States. And honestly, I'd move with her but I can't see myself commuting 5-6 hours out of my day. I'm sure ther'll be quite enough of that on the weekends.

But the sun always shines through the rain, it hasn't been all bad. One of my best friends from High School got married in Miami late last month. It was so beautiful to watch him exchange vows with the woman he loves and I was beyond honored to have been witness to such beauty and greatness.

And for the first time in a long time, my photography seems to be moving at a steady pace. I'cw had a photo shoot every weekend in the month of April and with a little luck and a lot of planning, I'm hoping to finish off the month the same way.

I don't even know If I've mentioned on the blog that I got a new car in July. It's cost me a pretty penny thus far and she's the reason I am currently devastatingly broke, but I love her and I hope I get to keep her for a very long time to come. She's a silver 1999 BMW 540i and I named her Sade. (All my cars will go on to be named after beautiful influential black women!) Pam Grier the Bimmer is gone, but hopefully one day in the future I can be reunited with her and treat her like I wanted to the first time around.

Other than all that, what can I say? Like the sun shining through the rain in April, "Life is Good" remains through the whackness.

Stay Up, and Stay Tuned.